Thanksgiving

While we all give thanks on this day of turkey and football, lest we forget the true origins of this holiday. When hundreds of centuries ago a few noble pilgrims, fleeing the plague, left Denmark, and sailed across the Pacific Ocean to a new and mysterious land. Unprepared for the rigors of the new world, the Danes were floundering and malnourished. If it wasn’t for the indigenous people of Mexico, who offered tamales to the Danes, the new colony might never have survived. And thus, we give thanks, or something like that.

Thanksgiving in Iraq isn’t all that bad. The spread at the dining facility was pretty tasty--I could not detect any lumps in the freeze dried gravy. They actually had some pecan pie that was outstanding; I can’t stop raving about it. While they frequently have cakes and pies here, I think that these pecan pies were freshly baked, not the garden variety frozen ones that we usually have. In the afternoon we had a little football game that quickly turned into a shouting match over questionable calls—must be all the testosterone and hormones injected into the turkey this year.

Anywhoo, I have much to be thankful for—my family, my friends, my lovely girlfriend Kimber; all of you bring me great joy and thoughts of you all help me get through each day over here. Happy Thanksgiving.

Home Sweet Speicher

I’ve been gone from my home at COB Speicher for little over a week. We are rearranging some of our Company’s here and I was dispatched to help setup communications for our satellite units. I began by catching a midnight flight on a chopper to a base called Anaconda; easily a contender for the most lavish base in Iraq award. Anaconda is within proximity to the town of Balad and is situated on what used to be an Iraqi army base. It was left rather unscathed in the initial invasion and features and indoor and outdoor swimming pool and a movie theater, complete with concession stand. While I am living quite comfortable at Speicher, those stationed at Anaconda are just plain spoiled. But with amenities comes a price—there is more bureaucratic nonsense than should be allowed in any war zone. After two days of setup, I caught another flight to a base called Warhorse, near the town of Ba’qubah; picturesque and strife with Iraqi-on-Iraqi violence. Warhorse had been in the toilet bowel of communications for quite awhile, and none of the chimps there could figure out what the problem was. My primary function in the Army is to fix communications and not to kill people, but if one were to correlate my success that day in terms of a body count, I would have massacred 1000s. It was like being on a new level of nerdiness. Just how nerdy you may ask?? I was on the ground for only a couple hours and I figured out that the field wire on the Long Range Ethernet cable repeater was spliced into a C-block using only two strands of copper wire and that the distance from the fiber-optic terminal switch to our operator’s switch was too great for only two strands to work, four strands must be used to carry the signal that far. DUH! I spliced the four cables and instantaneously brought our Company back up on the network, the nerd Gods smiled upon Ba’qubah that day. I still find it funny that I even do what I do in the Army. I really have little interest in networking and communications; it is actually quite a bore to me. But I find solace in knowing that I have learned a skill that I could care less for, and that I am able to perform it in a successful manner. I stayed at Warhorse another day to help out with some minor issues before heading back to Anaconda. While at Anaconda I caught a news report about the recent election results, and how the Democrats were taking over etc. The report also included a mention of the Republicans nominating REP. John Boehner for the minority chair. Maybe it was the giddiness of having been so successful on my trip, but I couldn’t help at snickering at a name like John Boehner. Without hearing the proper annunciation, I could only hope that he uses a name like that to his advantage. I began to come up with some campaign slogans:

John Boehner-- He won’t become limp under pressure

John Boehner--Hard on crime

John Boehner--Firm American Values

And of course…

John Boehner--His name means erect wiener

MUHAHAHAHAHA

Promotion

I was promoted to the rank of Captain this past Wednesday. It was a grandiose evening filled with handshakes, small talk and even a little BBQ spread I threw together at the last minute. A good friend of my father’s, Colonel Dan Kinsey, happens to be stationed on my base here, and I had asked him to do the formal pinning of my rank. The new rank brings no significant change to my work, but a promotion in the Army does bring an expectation of increased productivity—an expectation easily fulfilled. The PX here actually sells frozen meat and all the fixing’s. I picked up a box of 50 hotdogs for $18! While I don’t have a calculator here and have long since forgotten long-hand, we can all agree that is some cheap wieners. It turned out to be a great night, good times had by all.